Batman V. Superman Returns

And by that, I mean the title for the next movie in the series.  What the hell is this guy talking about?  You ask.  Well the answer is simple.  Remember that weirdass dream thing in the middle of the movie.  It was like a glimpse of either another world or another timeline.  So the next movie would end up being some time travel twist of a story, which would involve a redo of some of the events from this one.  I know it’s silly and crazy, but that is what comic books have always done best, so embrace it.  But without spoiling the end of this movie, I think something along these lines, would be best implemented to A. Display the extent of The Flash’s powers, since he is known to go back in time a lot in the comics as well as the current tv show, and B. To not have a vital character die so early on in the franchise, but C. The actual ending is sort of suspect anyways, and that’s all I feel allowed to say.

Batman V. Superman

My consensus is in!  I say it’s a hit, contrary to what many reviewers seem to have said.  But critics always tend to mystify me anyways.  I have heard people laud movies that I have found myself unable to even finish, and completely trash films I absolutely loved, and many of these reviews were by the same people.  I see negative reviews on raunch comedies because they are raunch comedies.  If that’s the kind of movie you are going to and you don’t like that sort of thing of course you’ll hate it, same with most genre movies.  But for this movie, regardless of multiple people’s differing opinions, and this is art, so of course they will differ.  Art is so subjective after all.  When I hear things like: “the story was predictable,”  and “the character’s motivations were formulaic,” or “Lex Luthor wasn’t bald,” being reasons to not like something, I say, what the fuck?  Like I said, I don’t care if you hate it, love it, or are indifferent to it, but critics need to get with the program, and give more legit arguments for why movies suck.  Predictable? Of course.  It’s no secret that Lex Luthor is evil, or that Superman loves Lois Lane, or that Batman sometimes has a hard time seeing the bigger picture.  I mean, people freaked out when the human torch was black, and let’s face it, flop or not, that wasn’t an important factor in deciding that that movie sucked.  But that’s last year, this is now.  Unlike the Marvel movies, or the 60’s Batman show, or the awful Green Lantern movie, DC doesn’t deal too much in camp or light-hearted romps, and for that alone, some people automatically stand against it.  But cinema is a higher art, as well as a super fun art, why can’t it be both in the same movie?  And the plot being the basic god v. man argument, makes it compelling enough whether or not it’s about superheroes.  it is the ultimate age old question after all.  Did it sometimes lead you into a filler-space to prep for an entire series of movies?  Of course.  But was that extra filler worth seeing?  Certainly.  Were Batman and Superman irrational in regards to picking their fight?  Of course, but they’re dealing with someone who excels at being not one, but two steps ahead at all times.  Superman has super everything, but he can only do what he does best, if he knows exactly what he’s looking for, and Batman is similar in that regard.  Was there more than half of this movie, having characters not in their respective capes and tights?  Yes.  But it was a movie that truly added depth to their overall characters, and the ultimate payoff was well worth the wait for the amazing epic fight in the last half hour or more of the movie.  It made me laugh, made me cry, made me go, “What the hell was that?”  especially in regard to the dream sequence,  and it also got me excited about the future of this franchise, the actors were cast perfectly, much to my delight, and my only real complaint, which none of the reviewers I read seemed to mention, was that Wonder Woman, played wonderfully by Gal Gadot, was sorely underrepresented throughout.  I get they wanted less of her backstory to dive deeper in further films, but they also made her a key player who had hardly any lines,I would have liked more dialogue, and maybe even another little scene or two featuring Diana Prince.  That is all.  No kryptonite at the bottom of this bottle….

Spring Cleaning? What’s That?

I mean seriously guys, if I had time to do actual cleaning it would be nice.  Spring Cleaning is just cleaning in general, with the word spring in front of it.  And as tame as Winter was, it’s not like we have been huddled up in blankets for months on end.  The entirety of October and November was colder than the whole of January and February.  But all things considered, we moved in on November 1st and still aren’t unpacked all the way, so there’s Spring Cleaning for you.  It’s called Cleaning, plain and simple…

Spring Has Sprung or Winter Returns..

As anyone living in New England may know, Winter sort of didn’t happen this year, well much.  But in our first days of Spring, we awaken to snow on the ground, like every 8 year old’s Christmas wish, but three months too late.  Oh well.  But like I said before, the weather is fucked up, even by New England standards, where we are used to the, to quote Garbage, ‘the queerest of the queer,”but it will only get weirder, brace yourselves.  But just be mindful of what you throw away, and become more aware of what we can reuse, reduce our carbon footprints as much as possible, which I know is easier said than done, especially if you live in a city like yours truly.  But if we all work together, things can get done.

Now for the fun part:  Spring is a time for new life, for rebirth, for birth, for bunnies, and chicks and coloring eggs, flowers, rain, the smell of grass, cool shit like that.  But Spring for me, is also about throwbacks, nostalgia, and such like things.  i was trolling spotify for my spring playlist, and lo and behold, my recommendations based on my listening history were some brilliant forgotten gems.  I have been doing a refresher on Weezer in anticipation of their new White Album.  Their colored self-titled albums are historically their best efforts, in my opinion anyway, not to snub all the others, though there is only one album I’m not overly fond of.  And seeing as these guys have been around the block a few times, though you can’t tell to look at Rivers Cuomo.  20 plus years since the blue album, so of course it would pull awesome nerd-rock icons from all over the place, like Harvey Danger’s Flagpole Sitta, or Stacy’s Mom, by Fountains of Wayne, not to mention one of my all time faves, Ben Folds, and even some Smashing Pumpkins.  Weezer is not really anyone’s contemporary, being one of the most consistent 20 plus year old bands, while other bands keep breaking up and getting back together for a surprise album, you almost always know what these guys are up to, and that’s great.  Keep it up guys, maybe I’ll be seeing you in July….


10 Cloverfield Lane

I’d say better than the first one here, but let’s face it, this isn’t a sequel.  It’s namesake fell short for putting a cool twist on the monster movie gnere, because too much focus was on the shaky cam, found footage style of the film then on the actual substance.  At least in my opinion.  A woman is abducted, or saved, by a conspiracy obsessed guy played by John Goodman.  And the rest of the movie follows that thread.  We consider her a prisoner, but we only know from word of mouth from a single source, if there is still a world to escape to up above, or if there truly was some sort of attack.  Cloverfield failed to me, by trying to hard to hold on to what it was, while this movie, at it’s most basic level, is always what it set out to be.  There are only three actors in the entirety of it, enclosed to a small space.  The camera pretty much follows Michelle’s point of view through much of the movie, without reverting to a shaky cam, home movie quality.  The music adds great substance, and the sound editing is superb.  We go from a long time of total silence, to a sudden banging noise, or a scuffle, or the sound of broken glass, and it makes us jump, even as we see it coming.  Is it the best movie ever?  No.  Is it worth seeing?  Yes.  The acting is good, the premise is solid and fairly simple, and the set pieces are great.  And when you finally find out the truth, you have a perfect wtf moment, that is sometimes lacking in cinema these days.  Check it out, or don’t, but while this film has many horror overtones, it is not really a horror movie per se.  So don’t let that force your hand, if you aren’t really into the horror genre.  I don’t know what I call it, but at least a good way to spend a couple hours.

Heading Straight for The Castle…

It doesn’t hurt to ever just reach for it, does it?  Think realistically they say.  What does that even mean?  Grow up, they say.  Growing up is not defined as a decision to give up on everything that matters to us.  I am a goddamn shoe salesman, and you think that’s where I stop?  You’ve got another thing coming my friend.  I am a writer, a dreamer, most importanly, a doer, a living being, not some zombie burnout.  Don’t sell yourself short, ever.  There are now more people than ever who will fight to decrease your quality of life, to pour salt in the wounds of our broken system.  Even now there are people who will pretend to know your pain, or your situation, to think they know what’s best for you, without bothering to know you, or talk to you or even figure out whatever is the matter.  But I am hear to tell you, even at the bottom like I am, they want you to give up, so just don’t.  What do you really want to do with your life?  You are not just a meat computer, you are you, and that is beautiful, let your fuckin’ freak flag fly!